What’s the vibe?
It’s a rare and disorienting thing to revisit a hotel twenty years later. You find yourself fixating on different details. The first time I stayed at The Dorchester, I was seven and wholly consumed by its marvels: a 15-foot Christmas tree heavy with baubles, men in top hats who opened doors for you, and the thrilling discovery of a mini-fridge; snacks in your bedroom without reproach! The bidet, on the other hand, was a tad bewildering – a mystery appliance I put to an ill-fated use and have since never made that mistake again. Two decades (and a substantial renovation from interior design firm Pierre-Yves Rochon) later, the magic of this grand dame remains, though the fascinations have matured. I now notice the yield of the Vispring mattresses, the depth of marble tubs, the pleasingly aggressive wattage of the Dyson hairdryers, and above all, the floristry in The Promenade with peonies the size of celestial bodies.
A suite at The Dorchester
The Dorchester’s history is ludicrously starched – reaching back long before my 2005 debut. Built in 1931, it’s an Art Deco roost on Park Lane with a guest list so glittering it verges on the fictional. Sinatra roosted here; Prince Philip held his stag do here; Elizabeth Taylor signed her Cleopatra contract in the bath of the Harlequin Suite. The place has hosted all six Bonds, fourteen Bond girls, four Ms and nine villains, making it statistically the safest place in London to order a martini.
What to eat and drink?
You will not go hungry at The Dorchester. Five restaurants, a cafe, a cake shop and three bars ensure that. The Vesper Bar, named after the ill-fated Bond martini, unsurprisingly serves a perfect Vesper, invented by Ian Fleming himself in the 1954 novel Casino Royale. Aside from 007-tipples, the current menu is inspired by Euclid’s golden spiral, a centuries-old mathematical ratio long used in art and architecture to create harmony and balance – now applied to cocktails. Try the Venus Observed (coconut pisco, Seatrus gin, Italicus, tomato, and caper berry) and soak up the ABV with dinky devilled quail’s eggs topped with pearls of caviar.
China Tang bar
Dining options span multiple venues including the Promenade, three Michelin-starred Alain Ducasse, The Grill, The Spatisserie, or my favourite, China Tang. This gilded underground Art Deco hideaway, opened by Sir David Tang in 2006, is famed for its Peking duck, prepared traditionally over several days. It arrives whole, lacquered to the lustre of a grand piano, and is carved table-side, tranches kept warm by a candlelit plate. The first course arrives with hoisin, cucumber, and pancakes; the second, a wok-fried afterparty of crisped remnants served in lettuce cups. Aside from the iconic waterfowl, China Tang serves all of your high-street Cantonese favourites and dim sum – only made with A5 wagyu, truffle and whole blue lobster.
Breakfast is best taken either in The Promenade or horizontally, via room service. Should the Vesper Bar’s “harmony and balance” philosophy have failed your head, salvation arrives in the form of a trolley draped in white linen, bearing a full English, a battalion of pastries, and buttered toast presented with military precision in a metal rack.
What’s nearby?
Dorchester exterior
You’re in Park Lane – the Monopoly board’s gaudy endgame. Hyde Park is minutes away if you fancy taking a pedalo among the swans. Buckingham Palace sits a 15-minute stroll south; Oxford Street, ten minutes east, should you wish to lose the will to live in the flagship Zara. If retail warfare isn’t your sport, descend instead to The Dorchester Spa – a Natura Bissé facial might just leave you resembling Elizabeth Taylor.
Rooms start from £880 per night; dorchestercollection.com
